The King Of Bollywood......
As little kids we all were swept away by the Glitz and Glamour of bollywood,and many heroines became our sweethearts at one oint of time or the other. I have done a lil thinking(yes, i do think),and finally revelled in the knowledge that i know myself a lil better now.....an enlightened sould when it comes to bollywood!!!
Reasons I can't join Bollywood
1. The sheer number of award shows. I'm a lazy bum, i couldn't be bothered to step out of the house for ONE award show a year, forget the one that is now held every hour, on the hour by every single magazine, channel, company etc etc
2. The incestuous cesspools... I don't know Karan Johar, Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol, Priety Zinta, Manish Malhotra, Farah Khan...OHMIGOD!!! I'll never make it! Because everyone knows that these guys are like this All-Stars Club, with no one allowed entry... get a room you inbreeding freaks
3. Im not a star-son...
4. I don't run over people in my Land Cruiser, thus i don't generate enough column inches with my name splattered all over them in stupid tabloids
5. I don't go to random launch parties and functions where the above-mentioned column inches can be filled up by linking me to random women, all of whom probably look uglier than a pickled pig's arse when they take their makeup off.
6. I can't suck up to random producers and directors and call them great and awesome when, in fact, the films they make aren't worth shit
7. I can't just "perform". I can't truthfully be who i am and still prance around on stage, lip-syncing a song and dancing like a fool in heat to some random steps, with some random Babe Of The Week chick
8. I don't understand the need for item numbers
9. Watching everyone in this narcissistic, self-congratulatory industry give each other and themselves pretentious blowjobs makes the bile rise in my throat
10. I'd never understand the heirarchy... At award shows, i'd never know if it was just "Shabana" or "Shabanaji" or "Fardeen" or "Fardeenji" or "Pappu" or "Pappuji". I would never know whose hand im supposed to shake, whose feet im supposed to touch and whose ass im supposed to kick...
11. I don't understand how Shah Rukh Khan can say his wife will "kick the shit" out of him, on stage, to a huge audience watching. Therein lies the difference between our crass, tasteless award shows and the Oscars... so yeah the Oscars are lobbied for, often downright bought...but at least on awards night they let you believe in the magic of the movies... i bet there's tons of people in Hollywood that would say things similar to what SRK said, but "shit"... on stage? Dude...
12. I'd ordinarily list "I CAN'T ACT" here, but given some of the chumps we've got, acting clearly isn't a pre-requisite for the job. Salman Khan, this means you...
Reasons I can't join Bollywood
1. The sheer number of award shows. I'm a lazy bum, i couldn't be bothered to step out of the house for ONE award show a year, forget the one that is now held every hour, on the hour by every single magazine, channel, company etc etc
2. The incestuous cesspools... I don't know Karan Johar, Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol, Priety Zinta, Manish Malhotra, Farah Khan...OHMIGOD!!! I'll never make it! Because everyone knows that these guys are like this All-Stars Club, with no one allowed entry... get a room you inbreeding freaks
3. Im not a star-son...
4. I don't run over people in my Land Cruiser, thus i don't generate enough column inches with my name splattered all over them in stupid tabloids
5. I don't go to random launch parties and functions where the above-mentioned column inches can be filled up by linking me to random women, all of whom probably look uglier than a pickled pig's arse when they take their makeup off.
6. I can't suck up to random producers and directors and call them great and awesome when, in fact, the films they make aren't worth shit
7. I can't just "perform". I can't truthfully be who i am and still prance around on stage, lip-syncing a song and dancing like a fool in heat to some random steps, with some random Babe Of The Week chick
8. I don't understand the need for item numbers
9. Watching everyone in this narcissistic, self-congratulatory industry give each other and themselves pretentious blowjobs makes the bile rise in my throat
10. I'd never understand the heirarchy... At award shows, i'd never know if it was just "Shabana" or "Shabanaji" or "Fardeen" or "Fardeenji" or "Pappu" or "Pappuji". I would never know whose hand im supposed to shake, whose feet im supposed to touch and whose ass im supposed to kick...
11. I don't understand how Shah Rukh Khan can say his wife will "kick the shit" out of him, on stage, to a huge audience watching. Therein lies the difference between our crass, tasteless award shows and the Oscars... so yeah the Oscars are lobbied for, often downright bought...but at least on awards night they let you believe in the magic of the movies... i bet there's tons of people in Hollywood that would say things similar to what SRK said, but "shit"... on stage? Dude...
12. I'd ordinarily list "I CAN'T ACT" here, but given some of the chumps we've got, acting clearly isn't a pre-requisite for the job. Salman Khan, this means you...
posted by The HIGHlight Reel at 9:18 AM
3 Comments:
chimpin krishi...mast tha.....
and i neva thought, u had a thought of joinin bollywood of all places on earth...!!
hmmm swades ka effect aaa..??
WHO sayz U CANNOT ACT.....[:P]
rotfl
u shd do stand up comedy instead :p
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