Friday, November 14, 2008

Sourav Chandidas Ganguly - Contribution of Epic Proportions

Thank You ..... for being a magnificent player...for success...for trails and tribulations....for courage and conviction... you walk away with your head held high.....v know that You did it Your Way and Indian Cricket is better for it.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Goodbye Gilly....

Goodbye Gilly..................... Cricket will Miss You !!! Thank You for all the MAGIC.
P.S. See you in the IPL.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Indian Wedding Season

Gone-Soon (we hope) WeddingIts wedding season in India and I'm Gulti.

*waits for laughter to die down*

I don't understand The Great Indian Wedding (TM). Come to think of it, I don't understand marriage at all. But since this is the season of The Great Indian Wedding, I'll stick to ranting about The Great Indian Wedding.

Weddings are supposed to be ceremonies and occasions where two people celebrate their love and union. What absolute bullshit romanticist baap.

A wedding is an occasion used to "celebrate" a date that one out of the two people involved will try to forget for every single year of their married life. It is also an occasion to celebrate the date that one partner will forget ever year, leading the other partner to not give the first partner Sex.

The wedding is an occasion to "celebrate" one's bondage to another person for life. To celebrate this occasion, first, the two people in question walk around a fire until seven rounds are complete, or they get dizzy, whichever comes first. Other people wear suits that were made six years ago and feel a bit tight around the armpits, and watch them take these rounds. Then, to celebrate further, they fling coloured rice at the couple. If you're lucky, one bit gets the bride in the eye and she bleeds to death. If you're unlucky, she just bleeds and lives and the ceremony is stretched further.

Then, to celebrate further, the couple stands on a stage for roughly 321423234 hours with a "Look Batman, I am The Joker" smile stuck on their face, while they shake hands with half the population of Guatemala, whom they have never seen before and will never see again.
Then these people eat free food and go home to bitch about how crap the food was. Twats.
Me? I'm practical. I've told my parents straight off; Gulti or no gulti, I'm not getting married. Why on earth would I put a woman through the torture of being married to me?! I've told em they can have the mehendi, the sangeet, the reception, the party, everything.
Let's just skip that insignificant little formality of "marriage" that comes in the middle of all those functions eh?

You're invited. All of you.

I will however dropkick the grandmother of the first person to ask me to pose for a smiling picture.

P.S. My mom was telling me all your cousins are getting married and i for one insane moment has the devil himself sitting on my tongue and i replied "What does that tell you mum".......awwwwwwww

Monday, March 19, 2007

Keeping The Faith....

To say am disappointed would be an understatement, similar to every ardent Indian cricket shattered..heartbroken....

but everythings not lost....... many people come up to me and say "what happened now...India Lost...Bloody Losers etc etc..."

but nothing has changed from my prespective.....true it wasn't the best of days for Indian Cricket.... Yes, Indian Cricket is looking down the barrel.... on the verge of plunging itself into an Abyss........... all for the Indian Cricket Team... my support for the Men in Blue remains true and unconditional.

For all those doubters..... u can only criticize if u have the heart to Praise.... ITS EASY TO LOSE YOUR WORD...NOT AN EASY TASK TO "KEEP THE FAITH".

As the Greeks called upon Achilles to fight for them in the Trojan War. I call upon my Cricketing God to restore everybody's faith in Indian Cricket and save us from public Ignominy, and bring back the Glory days for Indian Cricket.

We don't want to see the genius... the artist... We want the Dasher.... The Cricketing beast within to reign supreme.

P.S. Come this Saturday, i believe my belief in Indian Cricket will not be shaken...... i believe the Sun will shine out the brighter... the sun will shine out the clearer... Hope still remains.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Feelingggg Good...

So, moving on to brighter topics. The 10 simple pleasures of life.. Okay I am going to name 15 cuz I’m in a good mood, and I deserve to be happier than most. Hmm.. well, here goes :

1) Getting to sleep in late, tucked in a warm cozy quilt on an unexpected holiday, or just bunking first period sometimes.

2) Rain. Just getting wet. Playing cricket. Going on walks. In the rain.

3) Having a crush.

4) Favourite songs playing on the radio/on the tv/anywhere out of the blue.

5) Out of the blue compliments.

6) Catching up with old friends on long distance calls, or long, unplanned chats, or night outs..yeah baby - movies, heart to heart talks, looong night outs.

7) Long, hot showers.

8) Seeing your name in print.

9) Perfect weather, perfect company, long drives.

10) Unexpectedly feel good movies. Or watching reruns of your favourite feel good movies with your favourite company beside you.

11) Talking laaate into the night with the perfect somebody.

12) A warm hug. A kiss. From someone you love.

13) Awesome food.

14) Surprisingly good results/high attendance.

15) Sweet dreams.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

When Zizou Head Butted the World Cup...!!

Dear Zizou

The headlines were asking this everywhere, so I'll ask now.

I have a dirty habit. I often think up blog posts about an event before it actually happens; a head start, so to speak. While Shakira and Wycleff were up there on stage gyrating, I had it all planned out in my head.

There was a post about the beauty of sport, the glory of it. I'd thrown in a bit about emotions and something about sport as a panacea. My personal favorite part was the one about how this World Cup's been like a movie; Two embattled teams, one reeling under the allegations of match-fixing and the other marching back from a nightmare slump that saw them sink to the worst title defence in the history of the tournament, those two teams coming together, against all odds, to play this epic final game at the very place Hitler desecrated by his very presence and Jesse Owen consecrated by his.

Heck, I even threw in a rousing finale about those two teams standing there at the start, thousands of people in the stands, millions, no, billions of people across the world watching and how players managed not to be over-whelmed by the occasion.

And now here I am, writing this piece of emo tripe instead. So I'll ask again, not as an accuser, not as somebody demanding an explanation, but just as a guy bringing you a stiff drink and asking you if you want to talk about it.

Why man, why?

Before the final , a friend asked me who I was rooting for. You want to know who I was rooting for Z? Argentina. But hey, we all know what happened to them, so I said "You know what, I'm not really *rooting* for anyone because I like both teams so I'm just looking forward to a good game." "Nah" said my friend. "That's not how it works. Say I put a gun to your head and said you had to choose. Then what?" In that case, I said, France. I mean, Allez and all that right? You know why I said France?Because I figured if I had to choose, I may as well choose to see Zinadine Zidane's last hurrah.

And here we are now, at the end. You played a beautiful game man, you were good... you were fucking Disco.

And then, right before my eyes, my proposed post on the glory of sport turned into one about the folly of rage. To nick (and bastardize) what Steve Waugh told Herschelle Gibbs at the Cricket World Cup of 1999, "you just head-butted the world cup son."

How'd it feel? Did you hear a rib break? More importantly, did you hear the heartbreak? What a career you've had man, what a career. You're damn near peerless, if France wanted an Olympic gold medal at the 100 meters dash, all they have to do is enter your name in the event and put a ball in front of you at the starting line, you're just that sort of talisman.

I'll get the crucifixtion out of the way; I don't know whether you lost France the World Cup, I don't know how it would have gone down with you still in the game and I sure as hell don't think I've seen a stupider move in my life.

And now the friendly hug; you had a bad moment. Its ok, you'll live. Sure, you picked pretty much the worst time in the world to have that moment, but yeah, you had a moment. One of those where the brain goes into temporary shutdown, the emotion gets insane, and you did what you did. S'ok, we've all been there. Ok, so not THERE as in the Olympiastadium in Berlin at the World Cup final, but we've all had our meltdown moments.

I'm not going to lie to you. We're going to debate this one at coffee houses and bars, we're going to get drunk and call you the filthiest expletives, we're going to tear you to pieces. Just, you know, try not to take it personally.

Because you're still the man. Because for that one horrible moment, you've given us a billion beautiful ones. Because you're Zizou. I'm just sorry you blew your last hurrah. Now if only we could know why.

Yours sincerely.

P.S: Stripping away the consequences, ramifications and stupidity of the moment, I have to give you one thing. As a one on one, guy versus guy thing... that was pretty fucking badass. Get yourself a copy of the replay and check out the look on his face as he goes down. I hope you followed up with the French version of "How do you like THEM apples...bitch."

P.P.S: I also forgot to tell you, dear Z, that after France lost, a friend of mine who was supporting Italy made fun of me. I did the mature thing and head-butted the fucker in the chest. You got a red card for your efforts, I got a chilled Bacardi Breezer. (And, I think, a mild concussion)

Monday, March 05, 2007

Because I'm *that* bored.

Because I'm *that* bored.

Name: KrishnaNickname(s): Mojo Jojo, KC,Krishy ,Chaitu,lambu, *insert favorite expletive*

Single or Taken? *grin*
Sex: Male.
Birthday: Dec 11th, every year.
Blood group: O +
Sign: Sagittarius. Or however the hell you spell it.
Siblings: 2 brothers
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Black\
Shoe size: 11/12. I donno, this shoe-size business is DAMN confusing.
What are you wearing right now? Black shirt, Blue jeans, Sneakers.
Where do you live? Hyderabad.
Have You Ever:-given anyone a bath? No.
bungee jumped? No.
broken the law? Mmm hmm.
made yourself throw-up? Yup!
gone skinny dipping? Nope
been in the opposite sex's bathroom? Nope
eaten a dog biscuit? No
put your tongue on a frozen pole? Yup
broken a bone? Yes
played truth or dare? Yes
been in a physical fight? Yes
been in a police car? Yup!
been on a plane? Yes
been in a hot tub? Yes
swam in the ocean? Nope
fallen asleep in college? What else did I pay the fees for?!
Cried when someone died? Yes.
Flashed someone? UMMMM!
Lied? Nope. Dammit, did it again.
Laughed so hard you fell off your chair? Yes.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call? Yes
Saved e-mails? Yes
wished you were someone else? Yes
wished you were a member of the opposite sex? Nope.
Been rejected? 'Course...
used someone? Ummmm
been cheated on? Hmmmm... dunno. Not that I know of.
Done something you regret? Yes.
First Thing That Comes to Mind:-
Yellow: Traffic lines
Blue: Water.
Happy: Money
Autumn: Leaves.
Cow: Cheese.

Have you ever had:-

chicken pox? Yes.
sore throat? Yes
cold? Yeah.
stitches? Yes.
bloody nose? No
sex? Unfortunately, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Do you:-

believe in love at first sight? Ask myself that every time a pretty girl smiles at me. enjoy parks? Yeah.
like picnics? Yeah. l
ike school? Yeah.
hate anyone? Yeah.


is the last person that called you? Vamshi.
makes you laugh the most? Ummmmm
can make you feel better no matter what? Hmmm, good question
was the last person you touched? Mum
you hugged? Mum.
you yelled at? I dooo *not* remember
told you they loved you? Mum.

Do You/Are You:-

like yourself? More often than not, yeah.
dye your hair? Nope.
have piercings below the waist? No. Just... Nooooo.
stolen anything over $50? If you mean RUPEES fifty then yes, if you mean $50, then no.
like ice cream? Chocolate Mousse Royale and Pink Bubble Gum at Baskins, Autumn Dreams at Melting Moments, Titanic at Soft Den, Lewinsky at Havmor.
Which is your favourite flavour? *points up*
like cold coffee? if somebody else pays for it, Love it.
Smoke? No.
have beer? *looks incredulous*
obsessive? Yeah.
Compulsive? Yes.
Depressed? Nope
suicidal? Never.


Prized possession: Ummmmmmmmm....Ummmmmm
Last thing you said? "Bloody, book tickets for any god damn movie.
"What is beside you? A Computer, LOTS of papers, my cellphone and one empty chair. Yeah, I'm at Office.
Last thing you ate? Grapes & Bananas.
Are you right handed or lefty? Right
Favourite song: With or Without You, Nothing Else matters, River of Dreams.
Worst thing that has happened to you this year: Year’s just started Machan.

Time started: 3:10 pm.
Time finished: 4:00 pm.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Breaking News....

Dear Editors of All Newspapers and Dear Producers At News Channels

I would like to congratulate you all on the impending nuptials of your children. I would also like to comment on how amazed I am that all your children seem to be named Abhishek or Aishwariya. They're your children, surely? BECAUSE IF THEY ARENT, I CANT SEE WHY THE FUCK YOU'RE PIMPING THEIR GODDAMED ENGAGEMENT IN YOUR PUBLICATIONS AND NEWSCASTS SO MUCH BECAUSE THE ONLY TIME I'D PIMP AN ENGAGEMENT THIS MUCH IS IF MY OWN KID WERE GETTING MARRIED!!

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for Pooru and SunHairy. But my happiness started diminishing somewhere around the 99th "breaking news" story, you know, the one that went, "BREAKING NEWS: EXCLUSIVE: AISHWARIYA RAI HAS JUST MOVED A FACIAL MUSCLE."

Funny how she can never do that in a movie.

But to be fair to you guys, you haven't forgotten other issues of global importance; you know, stuff that could affect and effectively change the world as we know it... You guys haven't completely forgotten about the issues that REALLY matter.

Like, you know, Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother.

I mean, my GOD. That, that POOR celebrity, stuck there in that big, bad house that's watched by half the United Kingdom! That poor girl, I can't imagine the horror she must be going through; she must be crying herself to sleep every night with one single thought running through her head.

Why the *FUCK* didn't I do this EARLIER?!

Because you could put together every single movie she's ever done, from flipping Mai Khiladi Tu Anaadi to Dus, and they haven't gotten her the sort of mileage this thing has. Why be an international celeb when you can be an international incident instead? Heaven knows her nose is big enough to be an international incident in it's own right.

Special props to the newspaper that ran the headline screaming "SAVE SHILPA!!" I shit you not folks, for one horrible second, I thought Shilpa was a whale that got washed ashore on some beach in Brazil. And then I saw the picture of Shilpa Shetty alongside the story.

And realized it was actually a blue whale that got stuck in the Thames.

I get it, it's difficult to sell papers, it's hard to occupy 24 hours of airtime, so sometimes you've got to play this shit up. It's cool people. I get your dilemna. Don't worry, you could still get lucky.

I mean, maybe Aishwariya and Abhishek will honeymoon in the Big Brother house.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Lest Go Beyond...

Lets go beyond.

Beyond the ordinary.

Ordinary convenient lives.

Lives - those that we take for granted.

'Grants' and 'approvals' - need to break free.

Free from convention.

Convention is justified only when broken.

Broken Toys, broken hearts, one of the same.

Same ol' streets, same ol' life, but a whole new perspective.

Perspective, another word for individuality.

Individuality, a superficial concept, defied by a few.

Few, the number of times i genuinely enjoy conversations.

Conversations, just don't go beyond cell phones and cars today.

Today, the day after yesterday.

Yesterday, trying to let go.

Go someplace where exists ultimate solitude.

Solitude, unachievable.

PS: ...

Monday, January 08, 2007

What Makes a Man....

Over the weekend i have been wondering..... What Makes a Man....

is it his Looks... his Clothes....his Education...his Lineage....his Friends... ...

"I think its the Choices he Makes"...

Choices not in what he Chooses...But Choices in how he Decides to End It.