Saturday, August 27, 2005

Your Good Name plz.....

What's in a name?

No fuck Shakespeare... really... what IS in a name?

I mean, what's with people going "my name" and going all proprietry on it.

Your name isn't really YOUR name now is it? It is a word used to generally denote you and differentiate you from that other guy who has hair growing out of his ear who just happens to be standing next to you, yeah. But that's about it.

Umm what? You ARE the guy with the hair growing out of his ears?

Don't distract me, I had a point. Names, yes. Your name isn't YOURS. Look at it logically...

Did YOU pick it? Well did you?

No. Mummy and Daddy and the entire extended family (we're Indian[Gulti to be more specific], of course they were in on it!) sat there, made all sorts of horrifying cutesy faces at you and suddenly plonked a name of their choosing down on you.

Which is explains how some people are called "Gregory". Or Shakespeare for that matter.

Anyway, my point is, it isn't YOUR name. That's the conclusion I've reached based on a 22 year study I've conducted. It's just a word that apparently belongs to EVERYBODY and you're just really given the privilege of using it.

Others, of course get the privilege of abusing it, often resulting in unsightly, ghastly rape.

Thus people give you nicknames. It doesn't matter that your ACTUAL name has all of 1.34567 syllables. No, we must prove closeness to each other by bastardizing your name. We shall call you all sorts of names but the one that was originally thrown at you when you were born.

On occasion, they replace this name by an entirely different one! Some favorites across the world:

"Hey faggot"

"Idiot"

"Chut"

"Hey kid"

And what's up with parents giving their children names that must be a minimum of fourteen syllables: Like kids called "Akashdeep"

Everyone in the world except the tax collector and your headmaster is going to call you bloody Akash, so why did they bother with the deep? Can you imagine how unbelievably left out Deep feels?

And then those parents who want their kids to grow up tough. So they give them names that ensure that the child will be beaten to within an inch of its life every single day during the lunch break at school.

Phinnaeus Walter.

(You can just imagine the poor rascal getting wedgies in every single lunch break)

Apple Blyth.

(She should marry Phinnaeus, that way when they go to a restaurant and she says "Apple Phinnaeus" the waiter can say "Sorry ma'am but we don't serve that drink")


Sigh.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

1st...mention ur name

2nd... get ur thoughts in order

11:18 PM  

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