About Love and being Loved....

Its really amazing how three seemingly simple words can bring about a whirlwind of change in your being. They can alter your perspective on life, your opinions and beliefs about yourself and others. They can arouse in you genuine joy and gratitude. Or maybe not! What I state above are my personal reactions.

We should feel wonderful when someone says to You, "I love you!" You'll wanna dance and sing and laugh and cry all at once. We might feel like if U leapt out of the window right then, U'd surely be able to fly. We appreciate it when Our family says it to us everyday, that's for sure, but its a different experience altogether, an incomparable thrill when you're given that kind of pedestal from someone who isn't obliged to. They love you because they want to, not because they have to or are supposed to. Choice rather than complusion turns it into an ornate delicacy. Its a delight to realize that your existence is of, at least, some significance to another human - that you've touched the soul of someone and they've in turn tried to touch yours. The liberating intimacy of it is rather spectacular.

I had a friend who always told me that you should never hesistate in telling someone that you love them. In an age where human emotions seems primitive and the world is dominated by angst, egocentricity and desperate quests for pleasure, the most pristine gift you can offer someone is your love. Gems and shining metal lose their sheen before it! Just never defile its sanctity with simulation.

I wish I could somehow open up people to expression. It is strangely gratifying, trust me. If you appreciate someone, go upto them and tell them. Tell them how much you love them and what all you love about them. Worst case scenario, you'll lose nothing but they'll always gain infinitely. Voyeurism isn't happening at all...don't creep out people but honesty is wonderful.

Ah well! I have gotten all didactic again. Pardon my infirmity. I'm in a good mood.

Keep your sun shinin' alwayz

Me the Mahatma....

Since my last post, many have questioned the validity of my claims of being The One. Some people have questioned me openly and rather condescendingly and this angers me, partly because its a pain spelling the word "condescendingly".

I have been asked what my 'job profile' as savior of the universe is... Heathen mortals do not understand that one is the savior of the universe BECAUSE there is no job profile and One can tackle anything, ANYTHING that is a threat to the universe... be it a nuclear bomb or someone who cheats at Uno.

But, since you question me, question my sacrifice, my... singularity... i shall now list some of my functions:

Encourage the world to point and laugh at those who say "Channel Wee" instead of Channel V like they're supposed to.

Protect the universe from all who seek to destory it using negotiations, violence or, in extreme cases, refried beans.

Weed out chicky pop singers and kill them in their cribs. I will hear no complaints about the existence of Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson. You shoulda seen the ones we killed! Those two are harmless in comparison.

Ensure that balance in the universe is maintained. This means that I must keep a close watch to see that it never runs out of Cappuchino ice cream, olives, pizza's and Tom and Jerry cartoons.

To kill all those who say things like "Ooohhh I love reading!" What do you read? "Ooohhh Archie Comics!

To search for ways to make spelling words like "condescending" easier.

To make sure that there's never ever a flood of beer that will wash people away. I do this, difficult as it is, by encouraging junta to drink as much beer as possible.(and if the situation demands...guzzles down rivers of beer myself)

Now. Do not question my sacrifice and singledom again. I'll slay the lot of you!

The One....The Only....

I finally figured out why I'm single.

I had an "epiphany". A moment of clarity, and I realized why I'm perpetually single...

The universe needs me.

Its like this. I cannot have a girlfriend or significant other because the universe needs me. Im here for a reason, I'm The One or something like that. I will, in my lifetime, go on to become the saviour of the universe as we know it.

Which is why i cannot date or be distracted by other such frivolties. Thus, the universe goes out of its way to clear my path of all distractions. It sends me to a MBA college where the women shave more than I do. When I thwart that, it makes all the interesting women leave town. It also ensures that the ones that are still in town find other guys and get hooked up BEFORE i meet them.

Thats because I'm The One. I can't date because I would just wreck any girl's life. I'd have to leave her and go off and save the universe and probably die in the bargain... so the universe is keeping me honest and focused. Its making sure that when the day comes, I have no attachments that will make me want to shirk my responsibility.

So yeah, be nice to me. I'm doing this for you, all of you in the universe. To save YOUR hides.

So yeah, thats why I'm always single. Thats my theory.

Its VERY scientific.

And a lot easier than believing that maybe im single just because I'm pathetic.

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My Mom....and My Mess...!!!

I hate it when someone cleans my room. This is because I do not believe that my room is in a mess. I honestly believe that the idea of the "mess" as we know it, is incorrect. A mess is something that hampers productivity or obstructs the goal that you are working towards.

Thus, my room is NOT a mess. It is merely "a collection of asymetrical, randomly arranged clusters of assorted objects, wherein the place of each object is duly known to the user i.e. me"

The fact that there is paper scattered all over my room does not hamper my productivity; I know exactly what papers are in what stack and can even guess as to where in the stack they are. When someone piles all the paper up into one single bunch, now THATS a mess right there because suddenly my productivity has been hampered.

Besides, what is this loathing for asymmetry? Someone went and judged that only things arranged perpendicular or parallel to one another are "organized" and anything arranged assymetrically, without any seeming order, is a mess. I beg to differ. My clusters might be asymetrical but I know how they work. There is a method to the madness. What law states that order and organization are denoted only by rigid, perfectly arranged piles of paper?

I'll have you know I object.

Business Ideas...any takers!!!

The placement season at my college is on at full swing. Seeing as how they're poised to go, I've been exploring potential post-MBA career options. I present before you, for debate and discussion, my shortlist.

1. Gigolo.

Keep running the treadmill, work out harder, buff up plenty, fallover "accidentally" and hurt self so bad that i need facial reconstruction, thus get self a nicer mug than the current one. Then pimp self at assorted street corners. In fact, if any women are gullible enough right now even, feel free to get in touch.

2. Pav Bhaji Stall.

Open a pav bhaji stall outside secunderabad railway station (maybe Necklace road even...). Offer special "sympathy discount" to MBA students. I'm currently looking for a business partner for this venture because every pav bhaji stall needs a cold drink vendor alongside. Tenders are now open.

3. Chappal Maker.

Buy myself a pair of Osho chappals, study how they're made, make minor modifications and sell em as MoJo JoJo chappals.

4. Tree Hugger.

Enough said.

5. Self Styled Guruji.

I'll become like that hugging amma who goes around hugging people and building a multi-crore empire out of it. I'll be Guru (to be pronounced gooroo in the psuedo Amreekan way) MoJo JoJo, of the cult of Mojoism. Our chant is Carpe Chaddiem. Followers, preferably female, hot, nubile and single, are welcome.

6. Blog Comments Consultant

Open a consultancy firm which advises bloggers on strategic plans for getting maximum Comments out of their posts... without being chicks.

7. Yahoo Msgr Night-watchman.

Heaven knows im online 24/7. May as well make it official and guard the place while I'm at it.