The Indian Wedding Season
Gone-Soon (we hope) WeddingIts wedding season in India and I'm Gulti.
*waits for laughter to die down*
I don't understand The Great Indian Wedding (TM). Come to think of it, I don't understand marriage at all. But since this is the season of The Great Indian Wedding, I'll stick to ranting about The Great Indian Wedding.
Weddings are supposed to be ceremonies and occasions where two people celebrate their love and union. What absolute bullshit romanticist baap.
A wedding is an occasion used to "celebrate" a date that one out of the two people involved will try to forget for every single year of their married life. It is also an occasion to celebrate the date that one partner will forget ever year, leading the other partner to not give the first partner Sex.
The wedding is an occasion to "celebrate" one's bondage to another person for life. To celebrate this occasion, first, the two people in question walk around a fire until seven rounds are complete, or they get dizzy, whichever comes first. Other people wear suits that were made six years ago and feel a bit tight around the armpits, and watch them take these rounds. Then, to celebrate further, they fling coloured rice at the couple. If you're lucky, one bit gets the bride in the eye and she bleeds to death. If you're unlucky, she just bleeds and lives and the ceremony is stretched further.
Then, to celebrate further, the couple stands on a stage for roughly 321423234 hours with a "Look Batman, I am The Joker" smile stuck on their face, while they shake hands with half the population of Guatemala, whom they have never seen before and will never see again.
Then these people eat free food and go home to bitch about how crap the food was. Twats.
Me? I'm practical. I've told my parents straight off; Gulti or no gulti, I'm not getting married. Why on earth would I put a woman through the torture of being married to me?! I've told em they can have the mehendi, the sangeet, the reception, the party, everything.
Let's just skip that insignificant little formality of "marriage" that comes in the middle of all those functions eh?
You're invited. All of you.
I will however dropkick the grandmother of the first person to ask me to pose for a smiling picture.
P.S. My mom was telling me all your cousins are getting married and i for one insane moment has the devil himself sitting on my tongue and i replied "What does that tell you mum".......awwwwwwww
*waits for laughter to die down*
I don't understand The Great Indian Wedding (TM). Come to think of it, I don't understand marriage at all. But since this is the season of The Great Indian Wedding, I'll stick to ranting about The Great Indian Wedding.
Weddings are supposed to be ceremonies and occasions where two people celebrate their love and union. What absolute bullshit romanticist baap.
A wedding is an occasion used to "celebrate" a date that one out of the two people involved will try to forget for every single year of their married life. It is also an occasion to celebrate the date that one partner will forget ever year, leading the other partner to not give the first partner Sex.
The wedding is an occasion to "celebrate" one's bondage to another person for life. To celebrate this occasion, first, the two people in question walk around a fire until seven rounds are complete, or they get dizzy, whichever comes first. Other people wear suits that were made six years ago and feel a bit tight around the armpits, and watch them take these rounds. Then, to celebrate further, they fling coloured rice at the couple. If you're lucky, one bit gets the bride in the eye and she bleeds to death. If you're unlucky, she just bleeds and lives and the ceremony is stretched further.
Then, to celebrate further, the couple stands on a stage for roughly 321423234 hours with a "Look Batman, I am The Joker" smile stuck on their face, while they shake hands with half the population of Guatemala, whom they have never seen before and will never see again.
Then these people eat free food and go home to bitch about how crap the food was. Twats.
Me? I'm practical. I've told my parents straight off; Gulti or no gulti, I'm not getting married. Why on earth would I put a woman through the torture of being married to me?! I've told em they can have the mehendi, the sangeet, the reception, the party, everything.
Let's just skip that insignificant little formality of "marriage" that comes in the middle of all those functions eh?
You're invited. All of you.
I will however dropkick the grandmother of the first person to ask me to pose for a smiling picture.
P.S. My mom was telling me all your cousins are getting married and i for one insane moment has the devil himself sitting on my tongue and i replied "What does that tell you mum".......awwwwwwww
posted by The HIGHlight Reel at 5:00 PM
4 Comments:
I've only just started reading your blog and I read the one about why you're never getting married (written a while ago) and how you would propose and stuff. I was curious as to whether there'd been any progression?
A very strange gulti indeed :)!
Thanks for writing this.
U r sooo like me !! Though am a girl and also married (by mistake), marriage made me realize that ppl like me shud never get married..!!
Btw: r all sagittarians r like this? :)
- M
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