Breaking News....

Dear Editors of All Newspapers and Dear Producers At News Channels

I would like to congratulate you all on the impending nuptials of your children. I would also like to comment on how amazed I am that all your children seem to be named Abhishek or Aishwariya. They're your children, surely? BECAUSE IF THEY ARENT, I CANT SEE WHY THE FUCK YOU'RE PIMPING THEIR GODDAMED ENGAGEMENT IN YOUR PUBLICATIONS AND NEWSCASTS SO MUCH BECAUSE THE ONLY TIME I'D PIMP AN ENGAGEMENT THIS MUCH IS IF MY OWN KID WERE GETTING MARRIED!!

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for Pooru and SunHairy. But my happiness started diminishing somewhere around the 99th "breaking news" story, you know, the one that went, "BREAKING NEWS: EXCLUSIVE: AISHWARIYA RAI HAS JUST MOVED A FACIAL MUSCLE."

Funny how she can never do that in a movie.

But to be fair to you guys, you haven't forgotten other issues of global importance; you know, stuff that could affect and effectively change the world as we know it... You guys haven't completely forgotten about the issues that REALLY matter.

Like, you know, Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother.

I mean, my GOD. That, that POOR celebrity, stuck there in that big, bad house that's watched by half the United Kingdom! That poor girl, I can't imagine the horror she must be going through; she must be crying herself to sleep every night with one single thought running through her head.

Why the *FUCK* didn't I do this EARLIER?!

Because you could put together every single movie she's ever done, from flipping Mai Khiladi Tu Anaadi to Dus, and they haven't gotten her the sort of mileage this thing has. Why be an international celeb when you can be an international incident instead? Heaven knows her nose is big enough to be an international incident in it's own right.

Special props to the newspaper that ran the headline screaming "SAVE SHILPA!!" I shit you not folks, for one horrible second, I thought Shilpa was a whale that got washed ashore on some beach in Brazil. And then I saw the picture of Shilpa Shetty alongside the story.

And realized it was actually a blue whale that got stuck in the Thames.

I get it, it's difficult to sell papers, it's hard to occupy 24 hours of airtime, so sometimes you've got to play this shit up. It's cool people. I get your dilemna. Don't worry, you could still get lucky.

I mean, maybe Aishwariya and Abhishek will honeymoon in the Big Brother house.

Lest Go Beyond...

Lets go beyond.

Beyond the ordinary.

Ordinary convenient lives.

Lives - those that we take for granted.

'Grants' and 'approvals' - need to break free.

Free from convention.

Convention is justified only when broken.

Broken Toys, broken hearts, one of the same.

Same ol' streets, same ol' life, but a whole new perspective.

Perspective, another word for individuality.

Individuality, a superficial concept, defied by a few.

Few, the number of times i genuinely enjoy conversations.

Conversations, just don't go beyond cell phones and cars today.

Today, the day after yesterday.

Yesterday, trying to let go.

Go someplace where exists ultimate solitude.

Solitude, unachievable.


PS: ...

What Makes a Man....

Over the weekend i have been wondering..... What Makes a Man....

is it his Looks... his Clothes....his Education...his Lineage....his Friends... ...

"I think its the Choices he Makes"...

Choices not in what he Chooses...But Choices in how he Decides to End It.

Drinks...On The House...

Yeah, we're here, taking those chances, rolling those dice, fighting fights we'll lose, singing songs we'll butcher.

We're doing it because this is as young as we'll ever be, now is as loud as we'll ever laugh.

Here we are, before whatever and whoever happens to us, before the bets go off and hot hands cool, while the chips are still stacked ok.

Why do we do the stupid thing?

Because today it's ok to let the house win, because snake-eyes can't get you down.

And this is as young as we'll ever be.

Today the piper plays for free, drinks are on me.

And this is as young as we'll ever be

The Pigeon's Last Flight.

He might be no Michael "Whispering Death" Holding

He might be no Malcom Marshall or a Dennis Lille

But by God can he Bowl...... The Best New Ball Bowler of his era..... the best i've seen till date... Role Model Material.

As he plays his last test at the SCG...i hope he bows out with a High.... a 5 for would be a fitting farewell to a man who showed the way many for many budding cricketers.


P.S: Warne's gone.... Mcgrath's out............ Ricky Ponting who is gonna step up to the Plate for U now....hahahahhahahahahahaha