Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Mangalyam Thanthuna Navajeevana....

I'm anti-marriage and I'm not going to get married (yes, I can almost HEAR the women breathing a sigh of relief), but just for kicks I sat down and wondered what a REAL marriage proposal should be... none of that "Make me the happiest man in the world" shit... if you want to make someone the happiest man in the world, dont marry him, buy him a Playstation... mod-chip included of course. But I figure a real marriage proposal should be honest you know... something like:

I love you. I love you more than anyone or anything I've ever loved before. That doesn't mean we'll always be happy... we won't. We'll fight and we'll say things that will hurt, and I mean REALLY hurt, things that we won't just be able to apologize for and take back. But it means more to me that in spite of that we'll be able to make a go of it. There will be days when you'll wish you'd never met me and days where I'll wish I'd never met you, but for every one of those, there'll be a hundred when I'll wonder what I would have done if I hadn't met you. I'm not perfect and I never will be. And no, you won't "complete" me and no, I won't complete you. We'll never be complete, but we won't need to be. We'll be happy instead. We'll learn little things about each other, like how I can't go to bed without checking to see if every single water heater in the house is off. And we'll have our own inside jokes and when someone says something we'll catch each other's eye and grin like conspirators because we know something they don't. Some days we'll be each other's greatest strength, other days we'll be each other's greatest weakness. But we'll be each other's. A day will come, sooner rather than later, when we're done discovering each other and there won't be any novelty value anymore. But I'll take your hand and we'll go off, together, and discover something else, something as wonderous. I don't know if I'll always be there, I don't know that I'll always put the seat down and I don't know if I'll ever stop and ask for directions. But I do know that if I don't ask you to marry me right now, I will regret it and hate myself for the rest of my life... Will you marry me?

(Now you know why I'm never getting married)

Friday, December 09, 2005

Ban'em...Burn'em...

You know whats weird?

Girls wearing T shirts with slogans and stuff on em.

I mean, there's just no winning. When you wear a t shirt with a slogan or catchphrase on it, the natural reaction of all around you is to read the damned thing. With guys, its no big deal... just look at it, and read.

But chicks. If you dont read the slogan they're all "You dont like my t shirt"

And of course, I never read the damned things because any attempt to read them looks like you're ogling a woman's umm, bust.

So if you try to read em, you catch women giving you a dirty look. If you dont read em, you still get dirty looks.

Its like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, the devil and the deep blue sea, Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson, Karela and Baingan!

Women should wear solid coloured t shirts, no writing allowed. Or it should be on the back, like on football jerseys.

*shakes head*